Like You Mean It Read online



  Like You Mean It

  Trish Edmisten

  Copyright © 2013 by Trish Edmisten

  All Rights Reserved.

  For Kylie and Cyan, who always understand when I have to work

  Chapter One

  “Did you hear about Darren Jacobs?”

  Marcy’s question made Danni’s breath catch in her throat. Darren Jacobs, the two most beautiful words in the English language and the name of the hottest guy at Taft High School. Danni wasn’t the only girl who thought so.

  For the last three years, Darren cleaned up in those ridiculous polls organized by the yearbook staff, including Prettiest Eyes, a well deserved honor for his sparkling baby blues, and Nicest Smile. The guy deserved it, but it seemed criminal he somehow managed to get that smile without enduring the years of orthodontics suffered by the rest of the teenage world, including Danni for her entire junior high life.

  Darren Jacobs wasn’t like other teenagers. Besides having the prettiest eyes and nicest smile, he was also voted Most Athletic. Considering he made the varsity baseball team as a sophomore, it was another appropriate award. It was kind of sickening that one person could rake in so many wins, or at least it would have been if he wasn’t Darren Jacobs, the hottest guy in school.

  “What about him?” Danni pulled herself back to reality.

  “Didn’t you hear what happened last night?” Marcy asked.

  Danni sighed. “No, what?”

  “Okay, so last night,” Marcy began and then paused to wave at their friend, Chelsea, who was approaching.

  Danni had no clue why Marcy expected her to know anything about Darren. She wasn’t popular enough to know things because she wasn’t pretty.

  If Marcy hadn’t been so timid, she could have been popular. As a petite girl with big, gray eyes and flaxen blonde hair, she had potential, but her biggest problem was being too shy to allow herself to be noticed by others. That and the fact that early on in life she embraced her intelligence instead of hiding it as though it was something to be ashamed of.

  Guys like Darren didn’t want girls who were smarter than them. They just wanted girls who were pretty and popular. Even without anyone saying so, Danni knew she was neither of those things. She looked like the Wendy’s girl, complete with her rust colored hair and sprinkle of freckles across her nose and cheeks. Or rather, she looked like the ugly stepsister of the Wendy’s girl.

  Among their trio of friends, Danni always felt like the ugly duckling. Marcy was a cute blonde while Chelsea was an exotic raven haired, dark eyed beauty. Of course, her friends didn’t share her opinion. More than once, Chelsea proclaimed herself to be the least attractive of them all, on the grounds of being what she called their designated fat friend.

  “Hey, Chelsea,” Marcy greeted her. “I was just about to give Danni the 4-1-1 on what happened to Darren last night.”

  “You want me to do it?” Chelsea offered.

  “I think it might be better if I did,” Marcy said.

  Chelsea shrugged. “It’s going to be the same no matter who says it.”

  “Would one of you please just tell me what it is?” Danni asked.

  “Darren was in a car accident last night,” Marcy said.

  Danni’s heart sank. “Is he..?” She couldn’t bring herself to finish the question.

  “It isn’t that bad,” Chelsea assured her. “Well, it’s bad, but not that bad.”

  “What do you mean it’s bad?” Danni asked. “What happened?”

  “Spencer Collins was driving some guys home from a party, and he ran a stop sign and hit another car,” Marcy explained.

  Like Darren, Spencer was a member of the elite baseball team and the popular crowd. Besides being tall with brown eyes and dark blond hair, he had a lazy grin that made a lot of girls melt. In a moment of weakness, Chelsea once admitted to having a tiny crush on Spencer because of his bad boy image. Bad boy was just a polite way of saying asshole, which Danni had no problem telling her friend.

  “You said it was bad,” Danni said. “Was Darren hurt?”

  “The paper said he lost his arm,” Chelsea answered.

  Danni drew in a sharp breath. Darren couldn’t lose his arm. He was the catcher on the varsity baseball team.

  “Danni, are you okay?” Marcy asked.

  “Yeah, I’m just shocked,” Danni replied.

  “Spencer was probably drunk,” Chelsea said. “Drinking and driving is something he’s just stupid enough to do.”

  Marcy shook her head. “The paper didn’t say he was drunk.”

  “That doesn’t mean he wasn’t,” Chelsea countered. “You know what this means, don’t you?”

  “What?” Danni and Marcy asked in unison.

  “I’ll bet you a million bucks every girl in school will be crying her eyes out and acting like she knows them,” Chelsea said.

  Marcy nodded. “True.”

  “Well, that’s what they get for drinking and driving,” Chelsea said.

  “Yeah,” Marcy agreed.

  Whether they were drinking or not, Danni didn’t think anyone deserved to be injured, least of all Darren Jacobs. Things like that weren’t supposed to happen to the guy with the prettiest eyes and nicest smile in school, and especially not the most athletic.

  Disbelief mingled with sadness as Danni recalled the times she hid in the back of the stands at baseball games, watching him play. Like everything else he did, Darren played sports with self-assurance. The first time he caught a ball bulleted from the outfield and turned to tag the runner, only to be mowed down in the process, Danni was afraid he’d been hurt. When the umpire called the runner out, Darren had leapt to his feet and torn off his mask, with a huge grin splitting his perfect face as his teammates rushed in to high-five him.

  Danni couldn’t imagine what Darren must be feeling, but at least he wouldn’t have to go through it alone. The most popular guy in school would probably be surrounded by his friends, day and night.

  * * *

  During second period, Darren should have been sitting beside Danni. It made her sad to think of him laid up in a hospital bed.

  “Can you believe it? I mean, Darren was so cute.”

  Danni looked up. The comment came from Annabel, the girl seated in front of her.

  “He’s still cute,” Jade said.

  Jade sat on the other side of Annabel in front of Darren’s empty seat.

  Danni didn’t know anything about either girl, except for their names and the fact that they liked to flirt with Darren. They did a good job of it too. At least it always seemed like it from the way he would smile and flirt back. Since she sat right next to him, it was something she saw every day. Sometimes she even thought about trying to flirt with him, just to see his reaction. Danni had never been able to bring herself to talk to him, let alone flirt. Instead, she stuck to looking at him which was much safer. There was no chance of being shot down that way.

  “He might be cute, but he’ll never get another girlfriend,” Annabel said. “Really, who wants to date a guy with one arm?”

  I do, Danni thought with a glance at the empty chair beside her.

  * * *

  When Danni got home from school her mother wasn’t there. Neither was her father who hadn’t been around for almost eight years. Her parents met in college but didn’t marry until after they graduated from law school. Working as lawyers meant long hours and a lot of time spent away from home. Danni and her brother, Nick, often joked about being surprised their parents found time to have one child, let alone two. While they managed to have a couple of kids, they hadn’t been able to stay married.

  “Hey,” Nick said as Danni entered the kitchen. “I’ll bet Taft’s rumor mill has been going crazy since the car accident.”<
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  Danni nodded. “It’s all anyone’s talking about.”

  “You know how it is.” Nick shrugged. “People get off on that kind of thing.”

  “That’s pretty much what Chelsea said.”

  “She’s pretty smart for a fat girl,” Nick joked.

  “Chelsea is not fat!” Danni shrilled.

  “Yeah, she is, and if you keep eating cookies and drinking sodas every day you will be too.”

  “Screw you,” Danni retorted.

  With her brother laughing behind her, Danni headed upstairs. For some reason she could not fathom, Marcy had a huge crush on Nick. While he wasn’t the worst looking guy in the world, he wasn’t Mr. Universe either. In fact, Danni always thought of him as average. That never seemed to keep girls from being interested though. All through high school, his cell phone rang day and night with calls from different girls. Poor Marcy never stood a chance, but Danni didn’t have the heart to tell her. Not that she needed to. If Marcy didn’t know by now that she and Nick would never get together, she never would.

  Alone in her room, Danni flopped down on her bed and spread her homework out in front of her. With any luck, it would make her forget about the car accident that consumed everyone’s conversation that day. She sighed. No matter how hard she tried, Danni couldn’t stop thinking about it. Her imagination ran wild with crazy fantasies about what she could have done to prevent the accident. Okay so maybe she couldn’t have stopped it, but she was sure she would have been able to save Darren and his arm.

  In her favorite fantasy, Darren was her boyfriend. Since she had driven her car to the football game, he didn’t even need to get into Spencer’s car. And, since she didn’t drink, he wouldn’t have been in any danger with her driving. Danni pictured the entire exchange. She and Darren would be curled up on a couch, making out, though nothing too major, when Spencer approached, saying he wanted to leave. Darren would ask Danni if she wanted to leave and she would say no. Being such a jerk, Spencer would ask again and Danni would refuse again. This time she would use that pouty girlfriend voice she sometimes heard the popular girls use. Of course, Darren would just give her this big smile and tell Spencer to get lost.

  Danni did her best to shake the fantasy out of her head. Darren wasn’t her boyfriend and he never would be. No amount of wishing could change that.

  * * *

  “Can you believe people are still talking about the car crash?” Chelsea asked.

  Danni and Marcy nodded. Despite the accident having happened almost a week earlier, people would not shut up about it. The school administrators even brought in grief counselors for the entire week.

  “I heard Spencer’s being arrested for drunk driving when he gets out of the hospital,” Marcy said.

  “Serves him right,” Chelsea replied. “Didn’t I tell you guys he was probably drunk?”

  “I heard Matt Sweeny’s coming back to school on Monday,” Marcy continued.

  “I don’t see why he stayed home this long,” Chelsea said. “I heard he just broke his arm.”

  “Maybe he’s hoping the gossip will die down,” Danni offered.

  “That won’t happen,” Chelsea said. “Anyway, if he does come back next week, things are only going to get worse.”

  “Someone in my government class said there’s going to be a moment of silence at the football game tonight,” Marcy added.

  “That’s stupid,” Chelsea scoffed. “It’s not like anyone died, and everyone seems to be forgetting the whole drunk driving thing.”

  This time Danni agreed with Chelsea. A moment of silence for a car accident made no sense at all.

  “You know what else I heard?” Marcy dropped her voice to a dramatic whisper, and Danni and Chelsea leaned in closer. “I heard Whitney say she was glad she and Darren broke up this summer.”

  Chelsea knitted her eyebrows together. “You actually heard her say that, or did you hear that she said it?”

  “I overheard her and Nicole Ingram talking about it in the bathroom at break,” Marcy said. “She also said she couldn’t imagine dating a guy with one arm.”

  “What a bitch,” Chelsea hissed.

  While Darren’s name made Danni want to sigh every time she heard it, Whitney Wheeler’s made her cringe. The name was as perfect and perky as the blue eyed, blonde captain of the cheerleading squad. Since she and Darren looked born to date one another, Danni hadn’t been surprised when they made it official last year. The only surprising thing was the fact that they waited until junior year to get together. Even more surprising was when Whitney showed up at school on the first day of senior year holding hands with Garrett Tyson.

  When the bell rang to signal the end of the lunch period, the girls rose from their places on the grass. As they made their way toward the heart of the campus, Danni’s thoughts turned to Darren and Whitney and Spencer and the accident. She felt suffocated with sadness.

  * * *

  “I assume you’re here to talk about the accident?”

  The question came from the grief counselor who pounced on Danni the moment she walked through the door. As she read the name tag pinned on the woman’s shirt – Julie. I’m here to help! – Danni almost laughed out loud. The exclamation point made it seem like she should be happy about coming to see a counselor.

  Danni shrugged. “I guess.”

  “Have a seat,” Julie suggested, and Danni dropped down on the plastic chair opposite her. “Did you want to tell me your name?”

  “It’s Danielle, but most people call me Danni.”

  “Okay, Danni, what did you want to talk about?”

  “My friend, Chelsea, thinks this is a stupid idea.”

  “What’s a stupid idea?” Julie asked.

  “Grief counselors,” Danni explained.

  Julie smiled. “What do you think?”

  “I guess I think it’s a good idea. I mean, I’m here and all.”

  “Are you friends with any of the boys?”

  “I have a class with Darren,” Danni said. “I guess I’m not sure how I feel about every girl in school acting like this is a big tragedy for them. It kind of bugs me.”

  “From what I’ve gathered, the boys are very well liked,” Julie replied. “I hear they’re among the most popular on campus, which makes them sort of like celebrities. When something bad happens to a celebrity, it hits home with a lot of people. It reminds them anyone can get hurt.”

  “It just sucks, you know,” Danni continued. “Spencer might be arrested for drunk driving and Darren lost an arm, and he’s the catcher on the baseball team.”

  Julie nodded. “It is an unfortunate situation.”

  “I just wish I could do something to help Darren,” Danni said. “He got hurt the worst. My friend, Marcy, overheard his ex-girlfriend say she’s glad they broke up before he lost his arm, and some girls in my English class said he’ll never get another girlfriend now. It made me feel sick.”

  Julie offered another smile. “You have a good heart, Danni. Maybe you could put it to good use.”

  Danni frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “I’m sure a lot of people are going to react to Darren with shock and horror. Maybe you could set an example and treat him the same as you always did,” Julie suggested.

  “That won’t be a problem,” Danni said with a wry smile. “Darren Jacobs doesn’t even know I exist so ignoring him will be easy.”

  Julie returned an amused smile of her own. “Just keep your options open.”

  “Sure.” Danni stood up. “Thanks, Julie.”

  While the counselor hadn’t done anything specific to help, just talking to someone who didn’t know anything more than her name made Danni feel much better. Leaving the office, she wondered if she should take Julie’s advice about Darren. Maybe he did need someone to treat him the same and she could be that person.

  Yeah, right, because Darren Jacobs really needs me! Danni thought as she headed back into the real world.

  Chapter Two
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  For a long time after she woke up on Saturday morning, Danni lay in bed thinking about Darren and debating whether she should visit him. Not long after she woke up, she had called the hospital and learned he had been moved to the fifth floor, where anyone was allowed to visit between eight in the morning and eight at night. While Danni knew she could see him, she wasn’t sure if she should. After all, she and Darren didn’t really know each other. Being in the same English class didn’t make them friends.

  “No, but it does give me a good excuse to visit,” Danni told the stuffed animals cuddled in bed with her.

  Climbing out of bed, she headed for a quick shower and then slipped into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail but didn’t bother with make-up. It never did any good anyway. She always looked the same.

  “Going out with the gruesome twosome?” Nick asked when she breezed down the stairs.

  “Don’t talk about my friends like that,” Danni snapped.

  Nick shrugged. “Why not? They’re not exactly beauty queens.”

  “Neither are you,” Danni retorted as she slammed the front door behind her.

  * * *

  The minute she pulled into the parking lot of Children’s Medical Center, Danni wondered why she had come. Whatever the reason, it kept her from turning around and driving home, but it didn’t make her leave the car. After an endless moment, Danni finally grabbed her purse before she got out and headed inside the hospital.

  The lady at the main information desk didn’t blink when Danni asked for Darren’s room number. After a few key strokes on her computer, she just told Danni what she wanted to know and moved on to the next person in line.

  With her legs trembling, Danni rode the elevator to the fifth floor. In no time at all, she found herself in the hallway and walking toward Darren’s room. Before entering, she stopped short. Someone was already sitting beside his bed. It hadn’t even occurred to her anyone else would be there.

  “Um, hi,” Danni mumbled. God, he’s cute!

  The man looked a lot like Darren. It wasn’t just the blond hair and blue eyes. Something in his expression reminded Danni of the way Darren looked the day he made that amazing, game winning play.