Like You Mean It Read online

  “Are you a friend of D.J.’s?” he asked.

  “D.J.?” Danni repeated.

  “Right, nobody calls him that,” he replied with a small grin. “Do you know my brother?”

  “You’re Darren’s brother?” Danni asked and then blushed.

  What a stupid thing to say! Danni screamed at herself. Of course he’s Darren’s brother. That’s why he asked if I knew his brother. Ugh!

  “Yeah, I’m Justin.” He stood up to shake her hand.

  “I’m Danni. Darren and I go to Taft together. We’re in the same English class.”

  “That’s cool. You’re the first person who’s come to see him since he was moved here a few days ago.”

  “Really? He’s so popular I thought this place would be crawling with people.”

  Justin blanched. “Yeah, my mom thought so too. She and my dad and I have been visiting in shifts since he got out of intensive care.”

  “Maybe no one knows he can have visitors.”

  “I don’t know. Maybe,” Justin replied. “I’m glad you’re here though.”

  Danni knitted her eyebrows together. “You are?”

  “Yeah, D.J.’s still pretty doped up, but he comes in and out,” Justin said. “With any luck, he’ll wake up while you’re here. It’ll do him good to see a pretty girl.”

  “Maybe I should go find one,” Danni suggested.

  “You can sit here,” Justin offered.

  Taking her hand, he drew her toward the empty chair beside the bed. Once she sat down, Danni took a good look at Darren. Swaddled in heavy bandages, his left arm stopped just above the place where his elbow should have been. The big, white bandage taped across his forehead provided a sharp contrast to the dark bruises on his swollen face.

  “He looks bad, but the doctors say he’ll be okay,” Justin said.

  “Does he know?” Danni asked.

  “He knows.” Justin’s eyes darkened for a moment. “He took it pretty bad. He’s left handed. I mean, he was.”

  Danni already knew that from all the times she’d stolen a glance at him in English class. For some stupid reason she always thought being left handed made him even hotter. Now she felt bad for thinking it.

  “It’s okay to hold his hand,” Justin said.

  Before Danni had a chance to tell him that she and Darren weren’t really friends, Justin took her hand and placed it in his brother’s. Danni stared at their linked hands with wide eyes. For almost four years she had longed to be this close to Darren Jacobs. Now that she’d finally gotten her wish she hated it. More than that, Danni hated herself. She felt like some drama junkie who’d come for her fix.

  “I should go,” she said, dropping Darren’s hand.

  “It’s okay. I know it’s tough to take,” Justin replied.

  “It’s not that.”

  Justin offered her a smile of genuine warmth. “Don’t worry about it. When he wakes up, I’ll tell D.J. you came by.”

  “You don’t have to. We just have one class together. I’ll bet he won’t even know who I am.”

  “I’ll tell him anyway.”

  “Whatever.”

  Danni hadn’t meant to sound so bitchy. She just didn’t want Darren to know she’d visited. Then he’d wonder what kind of crazy girl went to a hospital to see a guy she didn’t even know. With any luck, Justin wouldn’t remember her name. Then it wouldn’t matter what he told his brother.

  “Danni?”

  She stopped walking but didn’t turn around. “Yeah?”

  “Will you come back tomorrow?” Justin asked.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Please, Danni. All those friends my brother thought he had haven’t been around, and I know it’s hurting him. He won’t admit it, but I know it is.”

  “But we’re not friends.”

  “You know each other though, right? I think it would be good for him to see that someone besides his family cares about him being okay.”

  “Okay, I’ll come tomorrow,” Danni gave in. Then she scurried from the room without ever turning to look over her shoulder.

  * * *

  Alone in her room that afternoon, Danni replayed her conversation with Justin and sitting beside Darren. She still couldn’t believe she’d gone to the hospital and ended up holding his hand. Not only that, but she met his hot brother who didn’t act like a jerk to her. She wondered what her friends would think of it all. Unable to hold it in anymore, she picked up her cell phone and called Chelsea.

  “Where were you today?” Chelsea demanded. “I called you like twenty times.”

  “Why didn’t you leave a message?” Danni asked.

  “I don’t know. Where were you?”

  “You’re gonna think I’m crazy when I tell you.”

  “I already think you’re crazy.” Chelsea laughed. “So what are you hiding? Did you have a date or something?”

  “I went to the hospital to see Darren Jacobs.”

  “Okay, I don’t think you’re crazy. I think you’re lying.”

  “I’m not,” Danni said. “I don’t know why I went. I guess I wanted to see him for myself, you know.”

  “How did it go?”

  “Okay, I guess.”

  “Now that you’ve seen him armless are you over him, or do you still like him?” Chelsea asked.

  “I don’t know,” Danni admitted. “I’ve always liked him because he’s so cute, but now he doesn’t look like the same guy.”

  “That sounds like you’re over him,” Chelsea pointed out.

  “I don’t know,” Danni repeated, but she did know.

  Even if Darren Jacobs didn’t look the same, and even if he still didn’t know she existed, she would never be over him.

  * * *

  “I didn’t think you’d come back,” Justin said.

  Danni forced herself to laugh. “Do I look like the kind of girl who would lie?”

  In reality, she almost skipped the visit. The thought of facing Darren scared her to death. In the end, her conscience forced her to come. She promised Justin she would, and she wasn’t the type of person who broke her word.

  “You don’t look like a liar, but you did look a little scared yesterday,” Justin explained.

  “I’m still scared,” she admitted.

  “I’m sure you’re not as scared as D.J. is.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Facing anyone, most of all a pretty girl, now that he’s only got one arm, is kind of scary for him.”

  “He doesn’t have to worry about that with me since I’m not a pretty girl,” Danni said.

  “You shouldn’t be so down on yourself.”

  “Are you trying to pick me up?”

  “Maybe, if you were a few years older,” he replied with a grin.

  Danni blushed in response. It wasn’t like her to be so flirty. Driving to the hospital to visit the most popular guy in school wasn’t like her either. She doubted whether Justin would be so nice to her under different circumstances. Guys who looked like him never gave her a second look.

  “How old are you?” Danni asked, feeling a little more at ease.

  “Twenty-five,” he answered.

  “I’m seventeen,” she said. “Guess you’ll have to wait another year.”

  “Here I thought you liked my brother,” Justin joked. “Turns out you’re using him to get to me.”

  Danni’s eyes widened “I, I would never do that at a time like this.”

  “I’m kidding,” Justin assured her. “Here, come sit with D.J.”

  “Are you the only one who calls him that?” Danni asked.

  “Yeah, it’s our thing. He calls me J.J.”

  “That’s cute.”

  “Thanks.” Justin moved to stand on the other side of Darren’s bed. “By the way, you were wrong.”

  Danni frowned at him. “About what?”

  “D.J. remembered you. He woke up about an hour after you left, and I told him you stopped by.”

  “Y
ou’re lying,” she said.

  There was no way Darren Jacobs knew who she was unless he remembered her as the dork who always stared at him in English class. That must be it. Just the thought of that conversation made her cringe. Justin probably told him some dorky red headed chick came to see him. Then Darren said something like, ‘Yeah, I’ll bet it’s that girl in my English class that’s always staring at me.’ Then they got a good laugh at her expense.

  Justin laughed. “That hurts. I’m not a liar. Anyway, he didn’t remember your name, but when I described you and said you were in his English class he remembered.”

  “Was he mad that I came by?” Danni asked.

  “No, but it freaked him out to know you saw him without his arm.”

  “It kind of freaked me out too.”

  Justin smiled. “It’s cool you have the guts to admit it.”

  “I guess. How long does he have to stay here anyway?”

  “A few weeks, I think. He’s got to have some physical therapy and be fitted for a prosthesis and stuff.”

  “He still looks pretty bad.”

  As Justin leveled a sad gaze in Darren’s direction, Danni wanted to drop into a hole. Why did she have to remind him how bad his brother looked when he’d been nothing but nice to her?

  “How come he sleeps so much?” Danni changed the subject.

  “They’ve got him on some pretty heavy painkillers,” Justin explained. “Maybe if you come back tomorrow he’ll be awake.”

  “Tomorrow’s Monday. I’ll be in school at this time,” Danni reminded him.

  Justin’s face fell. “Right.”

  “Maybe I could come by after school,” Danni suggested before she could stop herself.

  Justin broke into a wide grin. “That would be cool. It would mean a lot to D.J.”

  “Oh, I don’t think D.J. will care. I don’t think he even knows when I’m here.”

  “But he knows afterwards. He knows you’re the only person who’s visited him so far.”

  “I’m sure that will change.”

  “I’m not, but thanks, Danni.”

  “Sure thing, J.J.” She flashed him a smile before she disappeared from the room.

  As she stepped inside the elevator, Danni wondered why she offered to return. Why was she coming every day to see a guy who still didn’t know she existed?

  Chapter Three

  Come sign our Get Well card for Darren Jacobs!

  The signs were plastered all over campus. Danni counted nine of them between the front of the school and the quad. The colorful posters, courtesy of the leadership students, invited students to stop by classroom B-19 to sign what they claimed to be the world’s biggest card. Everyone had until Thursday at lunchtime to sign the card that was supposed to be delivered the next day.

  At least he’ll finally be getting some visitors, Danni thought as she bumped into Marcy.

  “Hey,” her friend said.

  “Hey,” Danni echoed. “How was your weekend?”

  “Not as interesting as yours,” Marcy answered.

  Danni drew her eyebrows together. “What?”

  “I heard you went to see Darren.”

  Danni didn’t bother to ask how she knew that. Chelsea must have told her since she hadn’t told anyone else. No doubt she called Marcy as soon as she and Danni hung up on Saturday afternoon.

  “Yeah, I went for a little bit,” Danni said, as if visiting Darren was the most natural thing in the world.

  “So, how did it go?” Marcy asked.

  Danni shrugged. “Okay, I guess.”

  “There you are,” Marcy said as Chelsea approached.

  “Hey, girls!” Chelsea nodded toward one of the posters blanketing the campus. “Looks like the leadership kids got a little crazy with the glitter.”

  “I think they’re cute,” Marcy said.

  Chelsea grimaced. “Yeah, they’re cute.”

  “What took you so long to get here?” Danni asked. “You usually beat me.”

  “It’s crazy out front,” Chelsea said. “Matt Sweeny’s back and there’s like a million girls talking to him, and you know what that means.”

  Marcy frowned at her. “What?”

  “It means everyone’s going to start talking about the accident again,” Chelsea explained.

  Danni hoped not. The non-stop talk about the accident the first week after it happened was more than enough for her.

  “How does Matt look?” Marcy asked.

  “He has a cast on his arm and a couple of bruises, but he looks the same,” Chelsea answered.

  “Lucky for him,” Marcy said.

  Yeah, lucky for him, Danni thought. Too bad Darren wasn’t that lucky.

  * * *

  Danni didn’t get a chance to sign the world’s biggest get well card, despite trying twice that day. At morning break, the line was so long that she took one look at it and turned around. At lunchtime, she returned with her friends and it was the same story.

  “Should we wait?” Danni asked.

  “Oh, hell no,” Chelsea answered. “There’s no way I’m giving up my whole lunch period to sign a card for a guy who doesn’t even know me.”

  Marcy offered Danni a sympathetic smile. “We could try tomorrow. The line might be shorter.”

  “Yeah, maybe,” Danni replied, although she didn’t think so.

  It seemed everyone was finally starting to remember that Darren Jacobs existed. As happy as she was about it, Danni couldn’t help wondering why it had taken two weeks for the school’s elite to get their act together and do something for the guy they voted most popular for three years in a row. Better yet, why did everyone else wait for the leadership students to do something? It would have been easy enough for them to visit him in the hospital or send a card or something.

  “Hey, there’s Matt,” Marcy said, breaking into Danni’s thoughts. “You think he’ll sign the card?”

  Marcy wasn’t the only one to spot him. His name was making its way down the line. Some people were even pointing at him as they spoke in exaggerated whispers. Matt didn’t even glance in their direction.

  “Doesn’t look like he’s coming this way,” Chelsea observed.

  “Maybe he already signed it,” Marcy said.

  “Or maybe he just wants to avoid all this bull shit,” Chelsea suggested.

  Danni nodded. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

  For the first time in her life, Danni felt sorry for the popular kids and the way they were always under the microscope.

  * * *

  Just as Chelsea predicted last week, Matt’s return to school sparked renewed interest in the car accident. While everyone wanted to hear his story about the accident, no one seemed brave enough to ask. Instead, there were lots of stares and whispers as he passed by and even more speculation once he was out of earshot. Danni had seen this happen at least twice during the day and she wondered how Matt felt about it.

  By the time school let out, Danni was even more disgusted than she had been last week but for different reasons. Last week, she was irritated with the fake tears. This week, she couldn’t believe how fake people were in general. To Matt’s face, they were friendly, but the second his back was turned the drinking and driving rumors started.

  As much as Danni wanted to go home and get a reprieve from thinking about the conversation consuming car accident, she had to keep her promise to visit Darren.

  “Hey, Danni,” Justin said. “Come sit with D.J.”

  As she sank into the chair by Darren’s bed, Danni studied his face and thought of the way people were treating Matt. She wondered how much Darren remembered about the accident and what people would say about him when he returned to school.

  Would it be harder for him at school after losing his arm? The things that happened to Lee and Matt wouldn’t change them forever, just for a little while. Did that mean Darren wouldn’t be the most popular guy in school anymore, or did being that guy give him a free pass on being different?


  “Are you okay?” Justin asked.

  Danni glanced at him. “Matt Sweeny came back to school today.”

  “That’s good.”

  “Yeah, but some people were talking about him behind his back and it kind of got me thinking about what it would be like when Darren came back since…”

  “Since he lost his arm,” Justin finished softly.

  “Yeah, and then I started thinking I’m no better than all those people spreading rumors.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I don’t even know your brother, but I’ve been coming here every day for the last three days like we’re best friends or something,” Danni said.

  “That makes you a good person,” Justin countered. “Do you know that no one from school, not even the guys who were in the accident with him, has come to visit? You’re the only one, and you don’t even know him that well.”

  “Maybe that makes it easier,” she suggested. “Maybe his friends are afraid of facing him and things being different. We don’t know each other so he’s got nothing to lose.”

  “See, you are a good person. You could be like me and judge everyone who abandoned my brother, but instead you try to understand them.”

  “Maybe I have a future as a shrink,” Danni said, laughing.

  Justin’s expression remained serious. “You’d be good at it.”

  Danni returned her gaze to Darren. How had the most popular guy in school become a bigger nobody than her? Was it fear of seeing him missing an arm that kept people away? Maybe they were just giving him a chance to get better before they started visiting. After all, the world’s biggest get well card was supposed to be delivered on Friday. But what if Darren didn’t want any cards or visitors? Maybe he wanted everyone to go away and leave him alone.

  “Has Darren ever told you how he feels about me coming here? Would it be better if I didn’t visit anymore?” she asked.

  “Don’t stop coming, Danni,” Justin said.

  Danni smiled. “Why? Would you miss me?”

  “Yeah, and D.J. would miss the chance to have a real friend.”

  “He has lots of friends.”

  “Then where are they?” Justin asked. “They turned tail and ran the second something bad happened, and now he’s alone. He needs someone like you to make him feel normal.”

  Danni remembered the grief counselor saying almost the same thing. In that moment, she knew she’d be back.